I mentioned in my last post that I have been disappointed by movie sequels before.

Franchises like Star Wars and Terminator come to mind right away.

The Matrix already had two disappointing sequels back in 2003. The original movie has an IMDB score of  8.7 while the sequels dropped to 7.2 and 6.8 in that order.

But I couldn’t avoid a little excitement when I heard that a new sequel was coming in 2021 and that one of the two directors was involved along with Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss (back from the dead somehow?) Perhaps Lana Wachowski could make amends for past mistakes?

Well nothing could be further from the truth – this movie is a complete disaster.  The IMDB rating has dropped to 5.7.

Here are the worst things that I can remember:

• The movie does not move things forward – instead it is a rehash. Unbelievably both Neo and Trinity are back in the pods and have to be freed once again!
• Instead of Neo being “the one”, it turns out that Neo and Trinity are actually the two. And at the end Trinity is able to fly in the Matrix too and is able to save Neo!
• There were replacement actors for Morpheus and Smith. I have seen some articles about “scheduling conflicts” but this article in Newsweek says that Lana did not ask them to be in the movie!
• Neo has some new “force push” power which he uses again and again in the action sequences instead of something more interesting (like Kung Fu)

Very, very disappointing

I guess some people realised that it might be possible to get big stars to do things using ZOOM during COVID which might have been difficult or impossible to get done during normal times.

And in so doing, to raise money for charity.

One such person was Josh Gad. He created a series of videos where he reunited the cast and crew of great movies such as The Goonies, Back to the Future, Splash, Lord of the Rings, Ghostbusters and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Josh is a great host and his enthusiasm makes the shows a joy. I know most of the participants are actors but they seem to get genuine pleasure out of being reunited.

Here is my favourite of them:

There are a lot of things I did not like about “The Risible of Skywalker” as I choose to call it.

But my expectations were so low that there are only a few that I hate.

Palpatine is back

So this is the ninth and final movie in the Skywalker.  J.J. Abrams (Jar Jar Abrams as Nerdrotic so appropriately calls him) has been brought back in to rescue the series after the dreadful Last Jedi. He needs a climax, He needs a super villain. he pulls his writing team together and they come up with this idea: Let’s bring Palpatine (Darth Sidious) back

This is quite surprising as:

• There was no mention of him in episodes 7 and 8
• He was killed in episode 6

But no problem. The team has a great idea. He can be a clone.

But there is a problem. A serious problem.

The killing of Palpatine at the end of episode 6 was incredibly important. It was the culmination of the first two trilogies. It was what Luke had been training to do. It was the redemption of Anakin/Darth Vader and the end of his story arc.

So bringing him back is a serious misjudgement and a betrayal of the story of the first 6 movies.

Rey is a Skywalker

At the end of the movie, Rey declares herself to be a Skywalker in a very forced scene.

There is no logic to this. There is no basis for it.

It is completely out of the blue and completely ridiculous.

Rey is a Palpatine. She is not a Skywalker.

Maybe Rian Johnson has the right idea in his movie when he said that she was a nobody.

Being a nobody makes a lot more sense that this ludicrous ending.

Opportunity Missed

So when JJ was looking around for a super villain, and a way to end the 9 movies, and a way to pull everything together, there was a perfect candidate standing in the wings.

I did a post in 2017 based on the theory (by Lumpawarroo) that Jar Jar Binks was a Sith and was secretly manipulating people and events under a guise of ineptitude.

This is not my theory but it is genius.

This was a much better option than bringing Palpatine back from the grave.

And it would have helped to redeem the first trilogy, and to re-purpose one of the most reviled characters.

What a win that would have been!

Apparently JJ was aware of and happy with this theory. What an opportunity he missed. Further proof, if any is needed, of his own ineptitude. Jar Jar Abrams.

I’m not going to include a photo from this movie.

Instead here is a photo from happier times and a better movie.

Today is “May the Fourth” and I’d like to talk about Star Wars.

I wrote previously about Star Wars Episode 7, which I choose to call “The Farce Awakens”.

This post is about Episode 8 which I am calling (spoiler!) “The Last Jedi Movie I will ever go to see in the cinema”.

This movie (coming a year after “Solo”) is surely the last nail in the Star Wars coffin.

It scored 7.0 on IMDB and had a audience score of 43% on Rotten Tomatoes (the 91% critics score is a complete mystery to me).

I *did* go to see the movie in the cinema when it came out. I haven’t seen it since then so I am just going to talk about the three things I hated so much that they have stuck in my mind.

The way they treated the character of Luke Skywalker

Mark Hamill has spoken at length about his disagreements with Rian Johnson about the way he was forced to portray Luke. I completely agree. From the moment that Luke has to throw away the light sabre, to the moment when he comtemplates killing Kylo Ren; to when he milks some strange creature. There is no respect for the character. Also, there is no hint of the optimism that characterised Luke in the original trilogy.

Leia’s Death Scene

When Leia was floating off into space dead, I was happy. I though it was a nice serene death. And, of course, we knew that Carrie Fisher was dead so it seemed fitting. But then Rian Johnson had her come back to life (how long can someone survive in the vacuum of space) and then fly back to ship. This looked absolutely ridiculous!

Luke’s Fight with Kylo Ren

So the climax of the move is the fight between Luke and Kylo Ren. But at the end we discover that Luke isn’t really there and the whole things was just a waste of time. Literally. There were no stakes. There was no chance that either of them would win. Or that either of them would die. Just a complete waste of time. I know there was something about Luke buying time for the others to escape but in reality it was just pointless. Episode 4 ended with the blowing up of the Death Star before it could destroy the rebel base. How things have gone downhill in the movies since then.

There were lots of other annoying things in the movie. But these three have managed to stick in my mind.

Now I happen to think that Rian Johnson has made some very good movies, before and since.  So I am mystified as to what went wrong here. But it certainly was awful, and it certainly was the last Star Wars movie that I will be seeing in the cinema.

I’m not going to include a photo from the movie. But here is one of Luke, Leia and Han from happier times!